I was walking Rose one morning this past week when we came across a bunch of books stacked up on a wall for people to take. I guess they didn't want to bother walking them to the library to donate? I don't mind, because I scored on a half-dozen romances.
I used to gobble up romance novels when I was a teenager, until I started to wonder why the prerequisites for finding true love were so specific: 1. the girl must be a virgin (and the guy must not be a virgin). 2. If you live in England, or in any European country, you must be an aristocrat. 3. the guy must be a complete asshole. I suppose the third requirement is easy enough to fill, but what about the first 2?
If you think this made me stop reading romances, you are wrong. I just make crabby comments in the marginalia of my mind and skim through the extra-crappy writing until a) something happens that actually moves the plot forward or b) I hit a love scene. (Which is really why people read these, anyway. Never kid yourself, romances are porn. Or at least the best parts of them are.)
So here's what I read; I started to give mini reviews, but realized it's a waste of time, so I'll just list 'em:
A Perfect Bride by Samantha James
Breathless, by Kat Martin; and Heartless, by the same author
The Barefoot Princess by Christina Dodd (notably good love scenes)
A couple of others that were quintessentially forgettable.
6 comments:
For raunchy and inventive sex scenes, I recommend Susan Johnson. Plus, she has the balls to make end note citations in her novels!
I'll have to check her out! Actually, I liked Christina Dodd well enough to buy a couple more of her books-another regency, and a contemporary love story. There is some hot sex, whew! I like it that she comes right out and says "cock." After all, there's not that many variations one can make on "manhood" or "maleness" before I fall asleep.
Like this: "His rising maleness thrust closer to her womanhood, and she gasped breathlessly." Yawn.
Throw in some stormy similies: "Like a wave crashing upon the stormy shore, his maleness engulfed her in thunderstroke after thunderstroke of unbearable passion." Snore.
I forgot to use "manhood" in a sentence: "His maleness brushed against her womanliness and suddenly she needed to pee."
Actually, it looks like I forgot twice. But you get the idea.
Uh, I've never read romance novels. Sounds like I'm not missing much. (Thunderstroke after thunderstroke?!?)
Linda, it depends on the writer. Most romance is schlock, but occasionally one finds the glitter of gold amongst the dross. For example, the plot may be completely lame and predictable, but perhaps the characters are engaging and interesting. Or the dialog may be stilted, with really pathetic renditions of Scottish accents, but the sex scenes are really hot. It all depends on what you're looking for, and a willingness to skim through the rest.
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